Sisterly Conversations on: The Many Faces of...Mrs. Carter

Me and V decided that I should blog about Beyonce's HBO documentary "Beyonce: Life is But a Dream" back in February. I spent a few months trying to pretend like I actually had a life and didn't write the blog entry, despite a monthly reminder from V who eventually just gave up after contemplating hurting me as I slept. Then today I was miraculously encouraged by my friend at her baby shower to get back on the blog train. Here is a picture of said friend:

I decided that if I could grant a mother-to-be one wish, this would be it: to do what I set out to do and blog about the many expressions of Beyonce (Mrs. Carter as she refers to herself on tour these days.) The follow are screen shots I have captured after viewing her documentary a second time in June. I entered into this second viewing with a fresh mind, ready to highlight for the world what makes Beyonce the greatest Illuminati Queen of our generation.

BEYONCE, PhD., ILLUMINATI CEO, MRS. CARTER, DIVA
A DAY IN THE LIFE:

Beyonce starts her morning off right, with a bowl of Wheaties, a stretch, and practice choreography to a "not-yet-released" single set to premier on Jay-Z's (her husband...duh) top secret album for Samsung phone users only. In this photo, Beyonce is questioning if she has ever in fact seen a Samsung phone.

Later that morning, Mrs. Carter hits the studio in order to record a lullaby for Baby Blue Ivy, whose currently in the womb enjoying mommy's sweet bravado at the time of this filming. Beyonce usually requests silence in the recording room as there are times she likes to include Baby Blue a chance to sing back-up vocals in utero...but never lead vocals. Never lead, Blue.

Next, Bey and Jiggaman spend a lazy afternoon watching highlights from their vacation off the coast of St. Lucia or some other tropical island paradise that Jay-Z had built specifically for his family...and his $25,000,0000,000,000 offshore account.

After the reminiscing, Beyonce recalls how much more manageable her hairstyle was on the trip to the HOVA getaway and straight up takes a scissors to her own hair. Damn, why can't I be her?

Of course, the hair looks ferociously perfect as Beyonce gives the stare and a hair flip to a minion, or service staff, or servant...whatever they are right, Bey?? 

Moving on to later that evening. Beyonce's shadow performs at a sold out arena tour where princes and princess from foreign lands, mythical creatures, Malia and Sasha Obama, Amanda Bynes, and other newly inducted members of the Illuminati watch from backstage.

As Beyonce heads home from her performance, many passersby are mesmerized, frightened, and quite possibly turned to pillars of salt upon glancing at her on the escalators at an airport. *-* (Like she didn't plan their demise)

But at the end of the night, when Beyonce is spooning (keep it G-rated) with Sean in their California king bed made of 10K gold satin, Beyonce knows she rules the world, her mane is fierce as hell, and she is looking more and more like her mama every day.

And as long as Lady Gaga channeling Danny Zuko and dressed like a greaser from the 50s is intrigued/turned on/frightened by her mere existence on this planet, well then Beyonce put in a good days work. 

Oh the possibilities tomorrow (and the next HBO blockbuster) will hold...

Subliminal messaging? Where?