Sisterly Conversations on: The Secret Language

Hello out there! I know it's been a while since I've blogged. I've been out living life (aka: going to school and work) and have also been stuck in a mild depression after that last blog entry. Jeez, Alanna, way to be inspiring and also really, really depressing at the same time. I'd have to agree with most of the sentiments of that last entry. I don't want this to turn into a deep and depressing rumination on life, so we'll just leave it at that. I will admit that I, too, do some of my pondering of life's darkest mysteries in the car. Or the shower. In those moments as I'm silently cursing my creepy neighbor because he used up all of the hot water, and I'm left with a pissy little stream trickling out of the shower head, I think about what I would say to people if I had the chance to relive certain situations. I think about what my life would be like if I did some things differently. But mostly I ponder what my life would be like if it was a movie. Shut up, you do it too. I've decided that my final scene would end with me totally content with life, driving off into the sunset on a nice, breezy fall day. This is the that song would play me out as I drive off and the credits roll. 

Clearly, I've done a lot of shower time.

Anyways, moving on to the subject of this blog entry. I was listening to Pandora a little while ago and I thought "Hey! It's a Thursday. I like to be a little crazy. I'm going to make a Miley Cyrus Pandora station." Come on. Don't judge. You know you like the anticipation and anxiety that comes along with hoping the song that comes on next is Party in the USA. And there's a good chance that it will be. Because MyCy Pandora plays. a. lot. of. Miley. Cyrus.

I mean who knew she had that much music?! Not me. Otherwise I would've never made the damn thing. Anyways, at one point, one of the songs that came on was "Should've Said No" by Taylor Swift. 

Now, this song holds a special place in mine and Alanna's heart. We often like to make up words to songs or sing them in strange voices (her rendition of "Boyfriend" by the Biebs in a country accent is particularly fetching). On one such occasion, Alanna came up with some alternative lyrics to "Should've Said No." In this particular version, Taylor's man-friend said yes (which....isn't that the point of the song? He DID say yes......). Anyways, her alternative version was "should've said yes, then....." and because nothing rhymes with "yes" the word "sexed" seemed apropos. So, I was going to write on her wall "should've said yes, then.......sexed" but then I realized that without some background story, people were going to read it and think we were freaks.

Which is when I realized: WE ARE. We have this weird little language that I'm pretty sure I'll regret decoding for you, but which I am going to do anyways, below:

"i'm scared (seth cohen voice)": used to tell the other person that you are, in fact, frightened. the (seth cohen voice) denotation could be added if you were texting the other person. otherwise, it's just said in the seth cohen voice. example: 

me: the lights just went out at my apartment complex. i'm scared.  

source material: only the greatest show ever. i'm actually really devastated because i can't find the video on the youtube uploader to embed it, but just click on the link below and fast forward to 1:05. or watch all 4 seasons of The OC and maybe it will pop up somewhere. i won't tell you which episode. either way, you won't be sorry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIALKOiJuDs

"(insert verb here) on the Barry Gibb Talk Show": this one is relatively new to the language. it's basically an alternative way to say you're doing whatever the verb is. example:

1. alanna: i'm at a bar and i'm flirting it up on the Barry Gibb Talk Show with Johnny Johnson.

2. me: i'm going out to party it up on the Barry Gibb Talk Show with my work friends!

source material: i mean really? you don't know this already? shameful. well here it is if you've been living under a rock, or have bad taste in humor and have never seen it before.

"hiliary clinton/hilz clinton/hiliary": used in place of the word "funny". example:

1. me: you should read my newest entry in the Sister Blog!

alanna: it's hiliary?

2. alanna: The Hangover was Hilz Clinton!

source material: alanna and i went to what can only be described as a pep rally in Robstown when Hillary Clinton was running for president and some lady, in true Corpus fashion, had a sign that said something about Texans for "Hiliary". Yes, Hiliary. needless to say, it sounds like "hilarious". because it is. 

oh here's a photo of me and my friend Jordan from that day for good measure.

"rude boy/calling you rude boy/rutabaga/rudyard kipling": all various euphemisms for the word "rude". example:

1. me: i finished watching The Bodyguard without you.

alanna: rude boy!!

2. alanna: i'm going to Harry Potter world.

me: rutabaga bush!

source material: i don't know. anything that has the word rude in it? any word that looks like it could have the word rude in it?

"like such as the Iraq": perhaps the most difficult to define, much like the video from whence it came. usually used to cut someone off before they can start listing things. example:

alanna: when are you coming to visit me?

me: i don't know. i have a lot to do this weekend, like....

alanna: like such as the Iraq?

source material: it needs no explanation.

anyways, there are many more complexities to the sister language that I don't feel like explaining. it's probably for the best. i mean i doubt we have any friends left after they read this. hey, but we have each other right?! and you....if you think you can master the language.