Sisterly Conversations on: Top 10 Christmas Songs!

Happy December! 'Tis the Season! Happy Holidays! Happy Hanukkah! Season's Greetings! Joy to the World! Winter Solstice! Happy......yeah that's all I've got. as you well know, if you've looked at a calendar or turned on any television station and watched the commercials playing, it's December 1st, which means there are only 25 more days until Christmas. this also means it's an acceptable time to start doing things such as setting up your Christmas tree, putting out your decorations, planning the menu for your Christmas feast and generally raging in the crowd at the mall or shopping location of your choice. it also means its time to crank up the Christmas tunes! so without further ado, here are my top ten choices to get your season started off on the right foot.

also, these are in no particular order because that would be like choosing your favorite child, which we all know can't (errr.....shouldn't) be done.

10. Brenda Lee- Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree

  

to kick it off, a little Christmas classic. who doesn't love to jam along to this song any time it comes on? which, in the course of a month is probably a lot.....so jam away. jam. away.

9. Vince Guaraldi Trio- Linus and Lucy 

if you've ever had the pleasure of meeting my dad, then you'll know that he is obsessed with A Charlie Brown Christmas, so naturally this soundtrack was a childhood Christmas staple. this song in particular gets me in the Christmas mood like no other! it also makes me feel like i should be at some classy, swanky holiday party- drink in hand, wearing a glamorous dress. except i'm usually in my bedroom cursing a roll of Scotch tape while trying to wrap a nightgown for my mom or something. 

8. The Jackson 5- Santa Claus is Coming to Town

eh, i really have no explanation for this one. i don't even like Michael Jackson. carry on.

7. Kelly Clarkson- Grown Up Christmas List 

uhhhh is a Christmas song supposed to make you emotional and maybe even kind of weepy, depending on the time of the month? whatever, don't look at me.

6. The Cast of "Glee"- Last Christmas

i like all versions of this song, but for some reason i had this one by the cast of Glee stuck in my head all season long a few years ago. it was simultaneously the best and worst Christmas of my life. also, here's a clip of Lea and Cory making sweet, sweet music. :(

5. Mariah Carey- All I Want for Christmas 

uhhhh duh. we'll ignore that time she redid this song as a duet with Justin Beiber though. #nightmares

4. Ron Sexsmith- Maybe This Christmas

dis be mah Christmas jaaaaaaaaaam. thank you, The OC for introducing me to this beauty as it played over a montage of Ryan and Marissa holiday shopping at the mall (that ended with Marissa getting arrested for shoplifting a watch). i mean, what are the holidays without a little thievery, ya know?

3. John Lennon&Yoko Ono/Maroon 5- Happy Xmas (War is Over)

it's a tie! obviously, the John Lennon version can never be touched, but i enjoy the Maroon 5 rendition as well. decide for yourself. i've included both. except the John Lennon video is kind of sad and the Maroon 5 one is just a bunch of pictures of Adam Levine, so it's pretty happy in comparison. and just pretty.

2. NSYNC- Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays

i love this song for multiple reasons. 1) the NSYNC Christmas cd was another childhood staple for me and Alanna (whether she chooses to admit that or not is another story) 2) me and my roommate, Bianca, used to listen to this cd even when it wasn't Christmas time 3) this music video and 4) it's featured in the Christmas classic I'll Be Home for Christmas with JTT, which i just found out has been added to Netflix (!!!!!!!). brb, watching it.

1. Jordan Pruitt (but really Donny Hathaway)- This Christmas

this song (in this version) used to play all the time when i worked at DSW and you could often find me jamming out in the stock room whenever it was on. but let's be real: Donny is far superior to Jordan.


well, that's it ladies and gentleman! i hope this list finds you in good spirits this holiday season. just remember, don't stress too much, even though there's one less week of shopping time between Thanksgiving and Christmas this year. maybe try getting some safety/survival tips from HERE before venturing out to the mall. i mean seriously, take that into consideration. girlfriend knows her stuff. she survived. TWICE. plus, you don't want to get trampled to death at the mall. it's just not a good way to go out.

cheers!

Sisterly Conversations on: The V.M.A.s L.I.V.E. blogged

7:10 PM:
Alright so let's just start with the obvious injustice: Ellie and Calvin losing out on best collabo video to the gender-confused duo of P!(?)NK and the dude from Fun.(?!!!!?!) What. The. Eff?! Ellie looked so adorable out there on the red carpet, buff, dainty, and British as usual. Is it because none of their names involve some ridiculous form of punctuation? Whatever...these music video love birds deserved the award and their love affair of my dreams will always be memorialized by Goulddiggers everywhere.

Lovers. Don't worry Ellie & Calvin...there's still song of the summer coming up!

-Alanna


7:35 PM:
let the drinking game commence! feel free to follow along at home. we've gotten our template from the one and only Buzzfeed. it can be found here. so far we've drank to people we've never heard of, the multiple times they've said "song of the summer", Ariana Grande (who!?) looking uncomfortable and someone comparing Austin Mahone to Justin Beiber. although i think Alanna is just drinking because Ellie Goulding lost.

we've also added a new category: drink every time you have to mute the tv because you're annoyed. you'll be dead in an hour and also watch the whole show on mute. feel free to add it to your repertoire.

cheers to the VMA's! and Godspeed.

-Victoria


8:00PM
Interpersonal therapy is perceived as a core therapeutic technique...sorry...I am technically supposed to be reading for school this week, but I have been consumed by the teeny-bopper world and it is heinously difficult to concentrate on reading when you have 30 year old announcers doped up on their choice of Adderall cocktail rambling on about whether Miley or 1D will win the song of the summer. What? Lady Gaga is the opening act??? This is the beginning of the end.

 

8:12 PM:
GUYZ. the non-host host basically just confirmed that NSYNC will be reuniting tonight. in case you've been living under a rock for the better part of a week, rumors have been swirling that the Fab Five will be teaming up again tonight to celebrate Justin's lifetime achievement award. or basically they just got sick of everyone asking them about it and just decided to get it out of the way. either way, i've been dreaming about this moment for YEARS! i may cry. one can only hope they bust out any of the following outfits:

wouldn't that suck if his "not so solo performance" ended up being with Jay-Z or Timbaland? or that Austin Mahone kid? or a hologram of Michael Jackson? i would cry. 

either way i'll be crying.

8:18 PM:
Miley Bynes. calling it now. i hope you're watching, Liam. and judging your choices and your future.

8:24PM:
So we were only going to update this every half hour or so. But now that Miley has just burned all of our retinas, I can declare her a HOME-WRECKER for sure. Robin Thicke, I'm disappointed.  Paula Patton, I'm sorry. Ellie Goulding, stop dancing and looking entertained by this ridiculousness.

8:55PM:
well. i'm not entirely too sure what's going on here. but i did just see this commercial for some reality show about bartenders (tenderesses?) that takes place in Dallas. way to make us all look like trashy hicks people. also everything that has happened on these awards is why people hate America.


9:05PM:
Justin Timberlake. NO. WORDS.

we are idiots and can't figure out the 21st century, so click here to watch our reaction video.

9:41PM:
well. we've totally tuned out of these awards. mostly because we spent the past 45ish minutes trying to figure out how to post the above ridiculous video and mostly because, really, what is there left to live for now? also i've had roughly three glasses of wine and i have to work in the morning. although Adam Lambert did just come out. what is he doing here? UHHHWHATDYAWANTFROMME? oh, presenting an award to that undeserving Justin Bieber wannabe. where's the wine?

9:46PM:
wheelchair Jimmy is up now. he looks like's put on a few pounds. and possibly shaved his arms.

10:18PM:

*The End* (just as good as the rest)

Justin dedicates his award for Video of the Year to his "granny"! *Tear*

Allison Williams aka. Marnie from Girls aka. my girl crush introduces Katy Perry in a boxing uniform and tiger print sports bra under the Brooklyn Bridge o_O what?

*Rawr* Jump rope...don't fall! Work it out! Can a brotha see some squats?!

And that's all from Brooklyn. Thank you for following the Sisters on their VMA journey...until 2014, fellow moon-men!


-Alanna
&Victoria

PS: JT STILL RUNS THIS BITCH!!!

Sisterly Conversations on: Things I Tried to Hate (But Couldn't)

every once in a while, you just have to man up and admit you were wrong about something. for me, this doesn't happen often (since i'm essentially perfect), but it does happen occasionally. except in the case of mine and Alanna's crappy internet. i am 100% correct and justified in my hatred, because it sucks and it's the reason i'm blogging at Panera 35 minutes before closing time, while a 16 year old employee sings along to the satellite radio station and passive-aggressively vacuums around the table next to me. it's a strategy we used at DSW to get people to leave. i know your tricks, kid. 

but i digress.

recently i have realized that there have been many books, movies, people, songs, etc. that i have been adamantly against.......until i actually tried them. after all, they say not to judge a book by its cover right? (except that's the ONLY way i ever pick out books, so that phrase doesn't really apply in this situation.) but you get what i mean. the following is a list of things i need to make amends with. the first step to recovery is owning up to your mistakes right? please forgive me, things.

1. coffee

my mom once asked me how it was possible that two non-coffee drinkers (her and my dad) raised two coffee drinkers (Alanna and I). i'm not too sure what the answer to that question is (or any of her questions, really), but i do know that it wasn't always this way. in fact, for a long time i despised coffee. i thought it smelled really good, but otherwise had nothing going for it. i made it through my entire college experience without ever needing to rely on coffee. crazy, right? and sad really, because coffee is essentially heaven in a little freshly brewed cup. i don't know what changed my mind, but i'm glad i did. now i'm one of those people who doesn't function quite right when they don't have coffee. i didn't have any today and i had a headache all day and then came home from work and took a 2 1/2 hour nap. so really, coffee should be apologizing to me.

2. any of these songs

curse you, pop goddesses. but also, thank you for the workout jams. #sorrynotsorry

3. The Hunger Games trilogy

this is perhaps the most grievous of my faults. so many people told me to read these books and i totally blew them off. and judged them. and for good reason! the plot has all the makings of something you should totally pass on. this series takes place in post-apocalyptic United States (boring!), wherein the population has been completely decimated by war (depressing!) and the remaining population is divided into twelve Districts. the totalitarian Capitol has decreed that once a year, each District must sacrifice one boy and one girl, ages 12-18, from their ranks to participate in a fight to the death that is broadcast live on television (brutal and rude!) none of that ever sounded like my cup of tea, plus it was written for young adults (super lame!)

one day, i had nothing better to do than to watch the movie on Netflix. i'll admit that i zoned out towards the end, but it was enough to make me intrigued, so the next day i went out and bought the first book and i never looked back. nothing about this series is remotely young adult-ish. people get their limbs blown off. people get mauled to death by vicious beasts. i think someone gets decapitated. multiple people are drug addicts or alcoholics. someone is shot execution style in front of a crowd of people. someone literally has their skin melted off. a twelve year old is murdered during the Games. a camp full of children is bombed during an air raid. a hospital full of the wounded and dying is blown up. it's all very gruesome, but strangely addicting and i finished the series in less than a month. basically the point of the series is that humans suck. and i suck for not realizing the greatness of this series sooner. and i think we can all be a little bit sorry about that.

4. sushi

my family never ate fish when i was a child. so the concept of it being raw and rolled in seaweed was something that, up until February, was completely revolting to me. i had many friends who swore by sushi's deliciousness, but every time i was invited to spread my sushi wings with them, i declined. "oh you want to go get sushi for your birthday? i think my mom wants me to help her spray paint some entertainment center she bought from an old curandero on Craigslist." (true story, btw). in fact, my mom was probably the one to blame for this sushi aversion. she went to try it with my sister one time and afterwards couldn't stop proclaiming to any one who would listen that the texture was akin to those jellied straps you find in women's blouses to keep the shirt from slipping off the hanger. so i just never tried it. fish + shirt straps = no.

but one day i got a sudden craving for it. i have no idea where it came from, but i decided the time had come to finally try it. Alanna excitedly accepted me into the sushi brethren with open arms and took me to Sushi Zushi, the holy grail of sushi delights. there, my world was opened up. not all sushi is raw! not all sushi is wrapped in seaweed! not all sushi has fish! i ate it all with such aplomb that i really didn't want it again until recently. but whenever i have a craving, i don't deny it anymore. and i'm sorry for ever denying you, my sweet fish friend. 

5. sorority style

you can't make this up. i just Googled a picture of those stupid shorts and one of the related searches was for "sorority". 

anyways, try as i might, i just can't deny the comfort and ease of getting dressed in popular sorority fashions. wearing Nike shorts to places other than the gym? done it. leggings as pants? worn it. Sperry's? i have three pairs. rain boots? i have a pair, though it hardly ever rains here. a North Face? too poor to afford the real thing, but i bought a $20 fleece zip up from Old Navy that looks remarkably similar. 

my apologies, comfort.


there are so many other things that i should apologize to for hating at first encounter. Bridezillas. pickles. Jennifer Lawrence. beer. the list goes on. conversely, there are many things that i have yet make amends with (Channing Tatum? Kristen Wiig? the gym?) and some that I probably never will (Mad Men. Boardwalk Empire. black olives. Ellie Goulding.) so suggest away, my friends, but beware. it could be awhile before i come around. but when i do, i'll seek you out for an apology. 

except for you and your crappy internet, Time Warner. i'll never forget.

Sisterly Conversations on: The Many Faces of...Mrs. Carter

Me and V decided that I should blog about Beyonce's HBO documentary "Beyonce: Life is But a Dream" back in February. I spent a few months trying to pretend like I actually had a life and didn't write the blog entry, despite a monthly reminder from V who eventually just gave up after contemplating hurting me as I slept. Then today I was miraculously encouraged by my friend at her baby shower to get back on the blog train. Here is a picture of said friend:

I decided that if I could grant a mother-to-be one wish, this would be it: to do what I set out to do and blog about the many expressions of Beyonce (Mrs. Carter as she refers to herself on tour these days.) The follow are screen shots I have captured after viewing her documentary a second time in June. I entered into this second viewing with a fresh mind, ready to highlight for the world what makes Beyonce the greatest Illuminati Queen of our generation.

BEYONCE, PhD., ILLUMINATI CEO, MRS. CARTER, DIVA
A DAY IN THE LIFE:

Beyonce starts her morning off right, with a bowl of Wheaties, a stretch, and practice choreography to a "not-yet-released" single set to premier on Jay-Z's (her husband...duh) top secret album for Samsung phone users only. In this photo, Beyonce is questioning if she has ever in fact seen a Samsung phone.

Later that morning, Mrs. Carter hits the studio in order to record a lullaby for Baby Blue Ivy, whose currently in the womb enjoying mommy's sweet bravado at the time of this filming. Beyonce usually requests silence in the recording room as there are times she likes to include Baby Blue a chance to sing back-up vocals in utero...but never lead vocals. Never lead, Blue.

Next, Bey and Jiggaman spend a lazy afternoon watching highlights from their vacation off the coast of St. Lucia or some other tropical island paradise that Jay-Z had built specifically for his family...and his $25,000,0000,000,000 offshore account.

After the reminiscing, Beyonce recalls how much more manageable her hairstyle was on the trip to the HOVA getaway and straight up takes a scissors to her own hair. Damn, why can't I be her?

Of course, the hair looks ferociously perfect as Beyonce gives the stare and a hair flip to a minion, or service staff, or servant...whatever they are right, Bey?? 

Moving on to later that evening. Beyonce's shadow performs at a sold out arena tour where princes and princess from foreign lands, mythical creatures, Malia and Sasha Obama, Amanda Bynes, and other newly inducted members of the Illuminati watch from backstage.

As Beyonce heads home from her performance, many passersby are mesmerized, frightened, and quite possibly turned to pillars of salt upon glancing at her on the escalators at an airport. *-* (Like she didn't plan their demise)

But at the end of the night, when Beyonce is spooning (keep it G-rated) with Sean in their California king bed made of 10K gold satin, Beyonce knows she rules the world, her mane is fierce as hell, and she is looking more and more like her mama every day.

And as long as Lady Gaga channeling Danny Zuko and dressed like a greaser from the 50s is intrigued/turned on/frightened by her mere existence on this planet, well then Beyonce put in a good days work. 

Oh the possibilities tomorrow (and the next HBO blockbuster) will hold...

Subliminal messaging? Where?

Sisterly Conversations on: Leo

behold, Leonardo DiCaprio, one of the best actors to never win an Oscar. if you don't agree with me when i say that THIS is the most gorgeous man on the planet then YOU....GET OUTTA HERE. but seriously, i've been in love with him since the Titanic days. he was my first celeb crush. some time ago, i got the brilliant idea of watching every single one of Leo's movies. and i mean all of them. after all, how can you say someone is your favorite without being able to properly critique them? behold, the power of the internet. Critters 3? watched it. The Man in the Iron Mask? laughed at it....i mean, watched it. Celebrity? kind of watched it. Body of Lies? took me about 3 weeks to finish it but...watched it. 

after all was said and done, i have compiled my list of the top 7 best (i just couldn't make the necessary cuts to get down to an acceptable number!) and bottom 2 worst Leo films, which i now present to you here, in chronological order.

7. The Basketball Diaries
if i had to put these movies in order of greatness, this one would for sure be near the top. in 
it, Leo stars as Jim, a (real life) teenage basketball star who, over a period of time, becomes a teenage-basketball-star-turned-heroin-addict who prostitutes himself for money and spends a lot of time hanging out with shady characters in drug dens. you know, the youj. based on the subject matter alone, this movie was super intense and Leo does a great job in two particular scenes. one is a cold turkey withdrawl scene, complete with lots of saliva and mucus. second, the scene below where Jim goes to his mom's apartment to beg her for money at the height of his addiction. definitely easy to tell that Leo was destined for greatness at the ripe old age of 21.

PS- his crying is how i sounded when i called my mom at 1 am the night before my biochemistry final. just in case you wanted to know.

6. Romeo+Juliet
come on. Leo+Claire Danes+Paul Rudd+one of the best movie soundtracks of all time+one of my favorite literary works from high school? of course this movie is on here. pffft.

also, if you need a synopsis of this one, you're probably a moron. 

5. Marvin's Room
i definitely was not expecting to enjoy this movie as much as i did. here, Leo stars as Hank, Meryl Streep's oldest and troubled son, who starts off the movie by setting their house on fire, which ultimately lands him in a mental institution. Meryl springs him from the pen early, only to cart him off to her sister (Diane Keeton)'s house in Florida after they find out Di has a form of lukemia that can only be cured by finding a familial bone marrow donor. or something like that. who would've known that Meryl Streep, Leonardo DiCaprio and Diane Keeton would together create comedy gold?! hilarious and heartwarming. i found this as part of a $5 three-movie-Meryl-Streep collection at Target the other day and really contemplated buying it until i found out that the other two movies were Music of the Heart and some movie where her husband was named Esteban. O_o 

no thanks, Mer.

4. Catch Me If You Can
probably the closest thing Leo will ever do to a comedy. or a romance. or a movie where he doesn't die in the end. so naturally, it's one of the best because it's different from everything else. it's light and fun and doesn't leave you feeling like humans are the worst species in the world at the end, which is also new and different. in CMIYC, Leo stars as Frank, a teenage con man who pretends to be a pilot, doctor and lawyer (sometimes all at once), and who is continually on the run from an FBI agent, played by Tom Hanks. Christopher Walken plays Frank's dad; Christopher Walken also scares the bejesus out of me. But who really cares about Christopher Walken when he's on screen next to this hottie? ;)

thought so.


3. The Departed
hands down my number one favorite, if we were putting these movies in order. The Departed tells the story of two young men who go undercover in the mob and the police department as moles for both the police department and the mob (respectively). Leo plays the good(ish) guy- the cop undercover in the mob, so we really get to see him struggle with the lie that he's living and the danger he faces if he's found out. Matt Damon plays the other dude and i spent most of the movie hoping he would get caught and generally wanting to punch him in the face. Also, Jack Nicholson plays the mob boss and i realize that, like Christopher Walken, Jack Nicholson also scares the bejesus out of me. i think it's the teeth.

also, getting hit with that toy looks legitimately painful. moving on...


2. Blood Diamond
Leo does a Rhodesian/Zimbabwean accent, almost perfectly (according to native South Africans). do you need anymore reason? ok, it also tells a pretty good story. 

1. Revolutionary Road
i have no idea why i liked this movie as much as i did, but it stayed with me for a couple of days afterwards. maybe because it was depression station/the bleakest outlook on married life ever, maybe it was this scene or maybe it was the visuals/style of everyone in this beach scene. swoon.

 
unfortunately, amongst all of the other greats (Shutter Island, Gangs of New York, Django Unchained, TITANIC!!, What's Eating Gilbert Grape?) that didn't make the cut because then i would just look like an obsessed creepoid, there were more than a few clunkers and snooze-fests (The Beach, J. Edgar, The Man in the Iron Mask). however, two movies really took the cake and made me think: why, Leo? just....why? i now present: the top 2 worst. in order.

2. Don's Plum
i watched this movie all the way through, in all of its low budget, black and white glory and finally figured out what it was about towards the end: nothing. ab-so-freaking-loutely nothing. it was literally a cast of now famous people (Leo, Tobey Maguire, Kevin Connolly, and Jenny Lewis from Rilo Kiley) sitting around a booth at a diner talking about everything and nothing at the same time, if everything and nothing could be talked about vulgarly. i guess they agreed to star in it to help a friend with a project and when they all became famous, the producers tried to release it for money, except everyone filmed it under the premise that it would never see the light of day (and rightfully so...). so now you can only get it oversees. so it least it has some mystique behind it and you feel kind of like a felon watching it. actually it SHOULD be a felony to watch this. here's a clip if you want to see for yourself and waste 1:24 of your life that you will never, ever get back.

1. Total Eclipse
let me nutshell this movie for you: period piece, heinous hair pieces, underage gay loving, poetry, full frontal nudity, brattiness, spousal abuse of pregnant wives. want me to go on? boring, awkward (watching baby Leo make out with Professor Lupin from the Harry Potter movies!? no thank you...) and all around terrible. it ended with Leo's character dying alone in Africa with one leg and a pornstache. oops, spoiler alert. but seriously, i'm not making this stuff up. i couldn't find a clip or picture to do this movie any justice, so instead here's a clip of OneDirection singing "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler on The X-Factor. also, they are dressed as vampires. trust me, this is the better deal.

from Critters 3 to Django Unchained, i've finally seen them all. now, the question remains, when will Leo finally get his Oscar? and what will i do while i'm waiting for the movie that will give it to him to come out? actually that movie should have been Django, but alas. i suppose i could get a life. i could start watching the complete works of, say, Johnny Depp or Tom Cruise. that should last me until the year 2078. or i could just sit patiently waiting for The Great Gatsby to come out on May 10th.

yeah, i think that sounds like a great plan.