Alright so let's just start with the obvious injustice: Ellie and Calvin losing out on best collabo video to the gender-confused duo of P!(?)NK and the dude from Fun.(?!!!!?!) What. The. Eff?! Ellie looked so adorable out there on the red carpet, buff, dainty, and British as usual. Is it because none of their names involve some ridiculous form of punctuation? Whatever...these music video love birds deserved the award and their love affair of my dreams will always be memorialized by Goulddiggers everywhere.
Lovers. Don't worry Ellie & Calvin...there's still song of the summer coming up!
-Alanna
7:35 PM:
let the drinking game commence! feel free to follow along at home. we've gotten our template from the one and only Buzzfeed. it can be found here. so far we've drank to people we've never heard of, the multiple times they've said "song of the summer", Ariana Grande (who!?) looking uncomfortable and someone comparing Austin Mahone to Justin Beiber. although i think Alanna is just drinking because Ellie Goulding lost.
we've also added a new category: drink every time you have to mute the tv because you're annoyed. you'll be dead in an hour and also watch the whole show on mute. feel free to add it to your repertoire.
cheers to the VMA's! and Godspeed.
-Victoria
8:00PM
Interpersonal therapy is perceived as a core therapeutic technique...sorry...I am technically supposed to be reading for school this week, but I have been consumed by the teeny-bopper world and it is heinously difficult to concentrate on reading when you have 30 year old announcers doped up on their choice of Adderall cocktail rambling on about whether Miley or 1D will win the song of the summer. What? Lady Gaga is the opening act??? This is the beginning of the end.
8:12 PM:
GUYZ. the non-host host basically just confirmed that NSYNC will be reuniting tonight. in case you've been living under a rock for the better part of a week, rumors have been swirling that the Fab Five will be teaming up again tonight to celebrate Justin's lifetime achievement award. or basically they just got sick of everyone asking them about it and just decided to get it out of the way. either way, i've been dreaming about this moment for YEARS! i may cry. one can only hope they bust out any of the following outfits:
wouldn't that suck if his "not so solo performance" ended up being with Jay-Z or Timbaland? or that Austin Mahone kid? or a hologram of Michael Jackson? i would cry.
either way i'll be crying.
8:18 PM:
Miley Bynes. calling it now. i hope you're watching, Liam. and judging your choices and your future.
8:24PM:
So we were only going to update this every half hour or so. But now that Miley has just burned all of our retinas, I can declare her a HOME-WRECKER for sure. Robin Thicke, I'm disappointed. Paula Patton, I'm sorry. Ellie Goulding, stop dancing and looking entertained by this ridiculousness.
8:55PM:
well. i'm not entirely too sure what's going on here. but i did just see this commercial for some reality show about bartenders (tenderesses?) that takes place in Dallas. way to make us all look like trashy hicks people. also everything that has happened on these awards is why people hate America.
9:05PM:
Justin Timberlake. NO. WORDS.
we are idiots and can't figure out the 21st century, so click here to watch our reaction video.
9:41PM:
well. we've totally tuned out of these awards. mostly because we spent the past 45ish minutes trying to figure out how to post the above ridiculous video and mostly because, really, what is there left to live for now? also i've had roughly three glasses of wine and i have to work in the morning. although Adam Lambert did just come out. what is he doing here? UHHHWHATDYAWANTFROMME? oh, presenting an award to that undeserving Justin Bieber wannabe. where's the wine?
9:46PM:
wheelchair Jimmy is up now. he looks like's put on a few pounds. and possibly shaved his arms.
10:18PM:
*The End* (just as good as the rest)
Justin dedicates his award for Video of the Year to his "granny"! *Tear*
Allison Williams aka. Marnie from Girls aka. my girl crush introduces Katy Perry in a boxing uniform and tiger print sports bra under the Brooklyn Bridge o_O what?
*Rawr* Jump rope...don't fall! Work it out! Can a brotha see some squats?!
And that's all from Brooklyn. Thank you for following the Sisters on their VMA journey...until 2014, fellow moon-men!
-Alanna
&Victoria
PS: JT STILL RUNS THIS BITCH!!!
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