Sisterly Conversations on: Taylor Swift's Musical Diatribes

well, it's the holidays again! and that means that I am back at my parents' house for a few weeks, soaking up all that Corpus Christi has to offer. which is really a shopping mall with a throat slasher on the loose and some really humid evenings. one thing I always enjoy about the trip from wherever I am to Corpus is the chance to listen to potentially 4 hours of uninterrupted music! weee! (I am only partly serious...it's really hard to listen to music for that long. after a while, everything sucks.) on this particular trip, I felt the urge to listen to Taylor Swift for 2 solid hours. 

why Taylor, you may ask? well, mostly because she is probably the artist with the largest collection of music on my iPod, so I don't have to do much song flipping while driving, which is always dangerous. she's also my guiltiest of guilty pleasures. I got the idea to dedicate a whole blog post to her music after her video for "I Knew You Were Trouble" came out, but I didn't know what sort of direction I should take. best Taylor Swift videos? best Taylor Swift songs? best Taylor Swift duets? progression of Taylor Swift music videos/songs (frizzy haired country tunes, to famous people's cameos as love interests, to a sudden break with reality)? about halfway into my drive, I finally came up with the angle I was going to take: best Taylor Swift diatribes!

for those of you who have been living under a rock for the past, oh, 6 years or so, T-Swizz is infamous for writing songs that sound like they came directly out of her diary. sometimes corny, always heartfelt, T is never one to shy away from the hard hitting topics: her friend Abigail doing the nasty with a boy who ignores her afterwards, her ex cheating on her and then wanting her back, being 22....the list goes on. but I would like to now focus, recall and celebrate all of the times Taylor has written scathing odes to her famous exes. we will now begin.

Number 5

Song: "Forever & Always"

Famous Ex: Joe Jonas

Most scathing line: Was I out of line?/Did I say something way too honest?/That made you run and hide/Like a scared little boy

ahh Joe. the very first of Taylor's famous victims. the story goes that Joe called Taylor to break up with her in a phone call that lasted only a few seconds. that. is. low. Joe claims that "a phone call only lasts as long as the person on the other end wants it to last" but after he reportedly broke up with Demi Lovato in the same fashion (albeit, through his dad....douche), I tend to side with Team Taylor on this one. Taylor has confessed to Ellen Degeneres that this song is about Joe, and was a last minute addition to her breakout cd "Fearless". also, the fact that I know this much about people I'll never meet is sad, and means I need a life. stat. anyways, moving on. i enjoy this song and i enjoy working out to it and listening to it on a bad day, but it's probably the least specific and interesting of all of her breakup songs.

Number 4

Song: "All Too Well"

Famous Ex: Jake Gyllenhaal

Most scathing line: Hey you called me up again/Just to break me like a promise/So casually cruel/In the name of being honest/I'm a crumbled up piece of paper lying here/Cause I remember it/All too well

I'm really not entirely too sure why these two dated each other, but I can't blame her. I'm also not entirely too sure why she wrote this super intense song about a guy she dated for as long as it takes me to brush my teeth in the mornings, but obviously she was burned pretty bad. or maybe she wasn't and she just needed some fodder for songs on her new cd. either way, I'm kind of obsessed with this song and I enjoy thinking of Jakey Poo probably not giving a crap about it either way. or maybe he does? according to the song he still has her scarf from this photo:

just like the secrets behind Area 51, Big Foot and how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, the world may never know what happened with these two.

Number 3

Song: "Back To December"

Famous Ex: Taylor Lautner

Most scathing line: Maybe this is wishful thinking/Probably mindless dreaming/But if we loved again/I swear I'd love you right/I'd go back in time and change it but I can't/So if the chain is on your door/I understand

ok so this isn't actually scathing. in fact, it's a departure for the norm for Taylor and she actually accepts responsibility for once (and only for once...I promise) and apologizes to her ex-with-the-same-name, Taylor Lautner. poor T-Lautz. he fell into the female Taylor's trap, but emerged relatively unscathed. the female Taylor is probably pretty lucky that hot Taylor isn't a musical artist because I'm sure hot Taylor has a lot to say about his and female Taylor's failed relationship, if the lyrics of the song have any truth to them. also, this same name thing should've been a sign that this relationship was doomed. so confusing. moving on.

Number 2

Song: "I Knew You Were Trouble"

Famous Ex: John Mayer

Most scathing line: And the saddest fear/Comes creeping in/That you never loved me/Or her/Or anyone/Or anything

I don't actually know that this song is about John Mayer, but it probably is. if it's not, it should be. I wish I knew Taylor personally so that I could've told her that dating John Mayer was a terrible idea. this is the guy that called Jessica Simpson "sexual napalm" in a public interview. on the record. to be put in print. while I enjoy this song, thinking of John taking Tay to "places [she's] never been" kind of makes my lunch reflux into my esophagus. 

Number 1

Song: "Dear John"

Famous Ex: John Mayer

Most scathing line: All the girls that you've run dry/Have tired lifeless eyes/Cause you've burned them out/But I took your matches before fire could catch me/So don't look now/I'm shining like fireworks/Over your sad, empty town

this is perhaps THE BEST example of a classic T-Swizz diatribe. the only song that directly names her ex-lover, she sings for almost 7 minutes about how he burned her. although, again, I don't particularly enjoy thinking about her probably engaging in some adult behavior with him when she was only 19 and he was like 67 (ok, 30), I do enjoy hearing her sing about the after effects. I also particularly enjoy how she spends a majority of the song talking about "the girl in the dress" who "cried the whole way home" and how she "should've known" it would end up like this. then, in the last lyric, she turns the tables and says "The girl in the dress wrote you a song. You should've known." touche Taylor. touche. and a word of warning to other famous men willing to date Taylor: godspeed.

well that's it! the top 5 best breakup diatribes from the incomparable Taylor Swift. while I usually stand up for Taylor when people put her down for dating so many guys (I mean how many people in this world casually date lots of men? no shame in your game girl!) and for her cutesy, sometimes juvenile lyrics (she has a formula that's made her a millionaire a million times over, so why change it now? business genius, i say.), I do realize there is a common denominator in all of these songs: Taylor. so if any of these lovely men would like to get together and write a song called "You're The Problem In All Of Your Failed Relationships", I will gladly dedicate an entire blog post to that song as well.

Sisterly Conversations on: Thanksgiving with the Cowboys

Family. Football. Jellied cranberry. Lots...and lots of cranberry.

This Thanksgiving we spent the afternoon with dad's side of the family in Kingsville. I know we're always in store for a good time when we head even farther south in Texas to spend time with the good ol' paternal familia. 

The visit started off interesting with my disappointing attempt at being nurturing and motherly as my mom encouraged (forced) me to hold my cousin's baby who was a mere 9 days old. I mean, I immediately loved that little baby, but I loved her enough to want to protect her from the discomfort of being in trapped in my bony arms. The conversation quickly turned to my cousin telling me, "You better start practicing. Your time is running out!" Ehhhhhh...no. I've still got time. Plus..maybe I'll adopt. I'll adopt a baby who is already in their toddler years and is not as delicate as a frail bird. I held the baby for a few minutes, then passed her back to my mom who couldn't stop fawning over her the rest of the day. She deserved someone like my mom. I went to look for the bigger kids. And the food.

A couple of hours later (and a lot of sitting around watching football and making chit chat while we all secretly wished we were eating), it was time to eat. I thought I would try my hand at being motherly again and offered to help my grandma set up the food. "Here," she advised (I was sure she was going to give me a big task like getting the rolls out of the oven, stirring the gravy, something manageable but still important), "take this to the other room." She handed me a styrofoam plate with a cylinder of jellied cranberry balancing on it. Both my grandma and I agreed that we could eat the whole helping of cranberry out of the can if our lives depended on it...or if no one was watching. I walked the cranberry outside to the party room. Yes, party room. We'll come to that in a minute. The cranberry was like congealed liquid gold on a plate. It was wobbling all over the place...but I cradled it and kept it safe. Probably safer than I held that tiny baby. Once I got to the party room, it was then that I noticed that 3 other cans of cranberry had already been opened. Not sure what else we really ate at Thanksgiving, but one thing I am sure of is the fact that we had at least 4 lbs. of the 90 cent delicatessen.

The party room. That is a whole other story. It's like Tony Romo (or some other Dallas Cowboys player who is actually good) threw up in there. Cowboys posters covered the walls, tiny Dallas Cowboys helmets sat on random window sills and on any available counter space, and one of my personal favorites, a Dallas Cowboys flag declaring, "America's Team." I wonder what other American citizens would say about that. Like perhaps if we asked the New England PATRIOTS, who's colors are red, white, and blue. Think they think of Tony and the rest of his fumbling teammates as the football team of the U.S.? I think not. I was honestly afraid to watch the Cowboys vs. Redskins game in that party room. I mean, I had heard stories of my uncle being completely obsessed with the Cowboys (which I had inferred from the Dallas Cowboys matching bath and toilet rugs in the bathroom), but I didn't want to be present for a meltdown that would occur when the Cowboys inevitably failed. McKayla was impressed when an ACTUAL Dallas Cowboys team member showed up to join us for Thanksgiving lunch and to watch the game. At least...I think he was a team member. I knew he wasn't part of the family because I had never seen him before and he kept saying things like "We need to get it together," or "Our fans are very fickle." Using those possessive pronouns can really transform someone! As I was analyzing this phenomenon, I noticed my uncle pulling down the ladder to head up into the attic. 'Is there another level to this party? Please, take me with you!' He looked around for a little bit and came out with another pile of styrofoam food trays. Duh. Silly me! When in doubt and you need more kitchen supplies...just head up to the attic.

A small Thanksgiving miracle occurred during the Cowboys game when I heard my cousin ask (aloud), "What is a punt?" Yes! I was no longer the only one who didn't know anything about football. Just a few minutes before, I had asked V how the Cowboys could only have 3 points and she gave me the DS (Death Stare in case you forgot) as she explained how kicking only a field goal at the beginning of the game and not scoring any other points made this a possibility. It's always a good Thanksgiving when family members find different ways to poke fun of one another; especially when we are all together stuffing our faces while doing it. Needless to say, the Cowboys lost, we had our gluttonous fill of starched sides and deserts, and as we were saying our goodbyes before we left, I'm pretty sure I saw my uncle heading up into the second level of the party room to wallow in sorrow at the demise of Team 'Merica. 

Sisterly Conversations on: #VPdebate2012

Ok, so the Sisters do more than gossip about coffee obsessions and hot Olympians. We decided to catch the wrap up of the Vice Presidential debate, mainly because everyone was talking about it on Facebook and we had already missed most of it due to a small shopping spree we went on in preparation for Austin City Limits (that's for a later post though).

Briefly, here is some of our highly political commentary on what we witnessed between Biden and Ryan:

On Ryan:

A:"Ryan would be cute, except for his widow's peak."
V:"He looks kind of like Phil Dunphy."
V:"Uhh..he looks so smug."

On Biden:

V: "What the heck is Joe Biden doing? He looks like a potato. Like a potato with eyes and mouth, right?"

On budget cuts, health care, and getting out of national debt:

A:"I don't care what politicians say. How the heck will the U.S. EVER get out of debt? Where will all the money come from? Are they planning on doing a nationwide fundraiser? "

V: "Ok everyone...we're doing a bake sale! Even though we'll be spending thousands and thousands of dollars for the cooking supplies."

A: "We've infiltrated the Girl Scouts. Buy cookies to cut back on the national debt!"

V: " $1,000.00 a box!"

A: "Thin mints anyone?"

Republican vs. Democrat, Samoas vs. Thin Mints...I hate making choices!!!

On the debate moderator, Martha Raddatz:

V: "Whoa. Crypt Keeper."

So, with all that being said...vote for whoever you want. Politics, debates, the future of these United States of America. It's all just a "bunch of malarky" anyways!!

"I throw my hands up in the air sometimes. Singin' hey-ohhh!"

Sisterly Conversations on: Fiending

ahhh yes. fall kinda, sorta officially started in September with the arrival of new fall television shows and the return of some old classics, but everybody knows that it's not officially fall until the pumpkin spice latte finally makes its much anticipated return to your local Starbucks. the rest of the country probably considers the start of fall to be the day when scarves become a necessity instead of a trendy accessory or the weekend that a cold front blows in and doesn't leave until march. but since this is texas, and both of those things last for about a day, we have one warm pumpkin-y beverage to look forward to to signal the start of the best season of all. and look forward to it we have.

i was recently at Starbucks for a study group when i decided to use my birthday gift card to order said latte. i approached the counter and asked if it was possible to make my pumpkin spice latte decaf. the barista replied "oh yeah, we can make anything decaf! but we don't have any pumpkin. and we won't have any until thursday." it was monday. what was everyone going to do!? the pumpkin wasn't going to arrive for THREE. MORE. DAYS. i suppose they could just get their pumpkin fix with some Starbucks Via pumpkin flavored coffee. or not. that rack was completely empty. no pumpkin anywhere. it didn't dawn on me until i read this article about the national pumpkin spice latte shortage that i realized what was really going on here. the entire nation is experiencing a phenomenon i call "fiending". until recently, fiending had only been happening on a much smaller scale.

coincidentally, i witnessed my first fiend at starbucks a while back. i was at the starbucks on campus (a college campus being a fiending mecca for various items) and the store was quite busy. i was patiently waiting for my drink at the counter because i had nowhere else to be. i was people watching (as one is prone to do in these situations) and i noticed a girl fixing up her coffee at the sugar and cream station. i watched her make up her drink, but when she went to reach for the cream, she found the container empty. i watched her as panic set in on her face. i watched her frantically look around, wondering what to do. i watched her spot the cream the baristas use behind the production counter. i watched her march up to the counter and reach over it. i watched as she grabbed the baristas' private cream stash and poured it in her own coffee like it was no big deal and then set it back behind the counter.

this was fiending in a nutshell. you see, it's basically when you are so frantic about something that you go to extreme lengths to get it and freak out when you don't have it, or are afraid that someone could take it from you at any moment.

my next encounter with fiending was late one night at HEB. i was on a grocery run and made a stop down the pasta aisle when i noticed a fellow college student eyeballing the Ramen (ummm....duh). i watched as he browsed around for the flavor he preferred. then, when he realized that they were out of individual packets and all that was left was an entire case still unopened and covered in saran wrap, i watched him load the entire case in to his cart and roll away. he was so fiendish for some Ramen that he didn't even bother to open the case and take out 2 or 3 packets. that's Ramen dedication right there.

recently a friend of mine told me about a really good sale that was going on at a liquor store. i'm a fan of wine, so off i went to browse their selection and see if i could snatch up any great deals. it turns out that i went 10 minutes before the store closed on the last day of their sale. it also turns out that all of northwest Austin heard about this sale too and were now at the same liquor store as me trying to take advantage of the sale's final moments. i watched in awe as people pushed other people out of the way with their shopping carts (yes, shopping carts........at a liquor store) and loaded them up with cases upon cases of beer, wine, Malibu, Smirnoff, whiskey as old as my dad, mixed nuts, bendy straws......literally whatever they could get their hands on. there was so much frenetic energy in there that i couldn't handle it and retreated to the refrigerated wine room for some peace and quiet. then the wine fiends (a particularly snobby bunch) followed me inside and i had to leave, empty handed. i'll stick with Arbor Mist, thanks.

lastly, i went to a PINK by Victoria's Secret tailgate giveaway at the Co-op with some of my friends today. i was thinking this was going to be something really special and maybe i'd get a free bra out of the deal, but it wasn't. and i didn't. we got there early and a small line had formed outside of the gate. the line eventually grew to hundreds of girls waiting to get in. the big moment finally came shortly after 11 and they let us in. the first stop was supposed to be a table full of bags stuffed with coupons. i don't know why the event organizers didn't realize that this had all the makings of a small scale riot. i mean...college girls, free bras, fighting for equal rights.....oh wait....

anyways, the organizers didn't put up any organizational barriers or ropes or anything, so everyone just kind of rushed the table to get to the bags. i ended up crushed between the table and about 100 other girls that i didn't know. i'm pretty sure at one point i was bent over the table at the waist, yelling at other people to get off of me. then security came and dispersed the crowd peacefully, which was good because i hear at other universities they use pepper spray. i could see the headlines now: "university students pepper sprayed after rioting over free panties" or "panty fiends get peppered" (there's a reason i'm not a journalism major).

so in short, i hope you have learned from my mistakes and are better equipped to recognized those who are fiending. i mostly wanted you to learn to stay away from fiends. far, far away. otherwise, you might just end up bent over a table. and nobody wants that.

Sisterly Conversations on: My Sad Life Outside of School/Work.

That Friday Night Lights...gets ya every time. Although, it is comforting to know that one of the actors from FNL is now one of the new interns on Grey's Anatomy. Strange how V recently told me that now she might start watching Grey's Anat because he is on it. It only took 7 years for me to convince her it is a show worth watching...bandwagon fan!

Gaius Charles "Friday Night Lights"

V.S.

Gaius Charles "Grey's Anatomy"

...If you ask me, he looks a bit more confident in his ability as a high school football star than a doctor.

Other than new actors making an appearance on Grey's, the season premiere was emotional, but expected. I think this season is gonna be pretty deep though! Which is what I like about Grey's: witty humor (usually provided by Drs. Yang and Torres), mixed with drama, passion, depression...everything that makes life worth living, right?! Every time a new season of Grey's starts, I am excited, but I also get a little paranoid that the show is one season closer to ending. Anyone who knows how in love I am with this show knows that I hold a special place in my heart for it. I've been watching this show since I was a senior in high school! I used to have a saying that the "Two G's" were the only consistent things in my life: God and Grey's Anatomy. Luckily one is omnipotent and works miracles, so maybe I can handle it if Grey's ever gets cancelled. Anyways, GREAT show as usual. A little cheesy, but that's what makes it worthwhile. Tune in on Thursdays at 9pm/8pm central, Thursdays on ABC for some real-life medical drama (oh come on all you doctors out there! Like you've never instructed a patient on how amputate their wife's leg under no anesthesia after they fell into a huge sinkhole that opened up in the middle of a city?! Pssh..rookies.)

Continuing on...

This past week was jam-packed with season premieres! Lucky for me, I was able to catch up on Friday night after it was raining so bad that I couldn't make it to the party I was trying to get to because my car started to make scary squealing noises and smoke while driving through flooded streets.

Elementary (10/9pm central, Thursdays, CBS), with bad-ass Charlie's Angel Lucy Liu and this dashing British man, Johnny Lee Miller (well, that doesn't sound British at all), was pretty intriguing. I have to say, I will more than likely keep watching. It is a modern spin on Sherlock Holmes, with Lucy Liu playing Sherlock's "sobriety companion", Watson, who accompanies him 24/7 as he is coming off his drug addiction. Heart-warming, I know. It's pretty similar to all those other mystery-solving shows, so if you're lacking one in your weekly line-up, I recommend adding this one in! Great soundtrack so far, featuring Lucy Liu doing her morning run to a song from one of V's fave bands (listen below). My only warning to you though is that at times it is a bit difficult to understand Sherlock's British accent, but he's a bloke worth looking at ;)

The Mindy Project (9/8pm central, Tuesdays, FOX) Pretty hilarious gal, that Mindy! I never really got into the Office when she was on it, but I have read excerpts from Mindy's autobiography and I knew I would enjoy this show. It's a 30 minute comedy, so you're pretty much guaranteed a few good belly-laughs, and you don't have to invest much time in it. I wouldn't expect any hard-hitting morals to the story or life lessons, though. Mindy has so much Girl Power in this show, which I like. Mindy and I are a lot alike, really! We're both just two young, funny women, trying to find the man of our dreams, kicking butt at being independent, always making people laugh (either with or at us, I haven't figured that one out yet), did I mention trying to find the man of our dreams? Guess we'll both just be hilarious workaholics until that happens!

"I'm a cute, fun Doctor-lady who works with two super hott Doctor-men!! Yeah!!"

And for the commentary I've been waiting to get to (and I'm sure you also may be looking forward to since it will be closer to the end of my T.V. show rant) REVENGE!! I decided I have to post about it before the season premiere tonight (9/8pm central, Sundays on ABC), so that way I could hook you in and make you so intrigued that you have to watch. I will try to keep it very short and sweet though, because not too many words need to be written to promote this show. I started watching it last season on a whim. I needed something different in my life. All I ever watched were comedies. It was time to get serious. Well, Revenge is  seriously one of the best shows out there right now. It has drama, mystery, attractive actors, fighting, Girl Power scenes (there's me and that Girl Power again). Plus, it makes you thank your lucky stars that you aren't filthy rich and don't swim in your own wealth and greed inside a giant palace in the Hamptons...on second thought, I know a lot of people who would love that! But that's why I like to watch it. It's about Emily Thorne, totally interrupting that disgusting world and fighting for TRUTH! JUSTICE! and...the memory of her father who was wrongfully accused of mass murder, imprisoned, and then died in jail! Intense, right?!?! Watch tonight, and if you've never seen Revenge before, just check out this small clip from the Spring season finale. You'll be hooked.

MIND. BLOWN.

Alanna's other favorite shows that she didn't have time to talk about before the Revenge premiere started:

Modern Family (8/7pm central, Weds, ABC)

Up All Night (8:30/7:30 central, Thurs, NBC)

Watch these too!

Sisterly Conversations on: my love for Friday Night Lights

i had two possible topics that i was going to write about for this entry, but then i got some inspiration from the previous entry about fall television. now, i'm a pretty terrible judge of what is and isn't going to be good television while a show is in its infancy. one of the shows i'm currently keeping tabs on is The Mob Doctor on FOX. it's basically what it sounds like: a show about a female cardiologist/surgeon at a prestigious hospital in chicago who moonlights as a doctor for the mob in order to pay off her younger brother's debt. i know what you're probably thinking: "of course you're a terrible judge of tv shows! that show sounds bad based on the premise alone!" and it kind of is. but the only reason i'm watching it is because of the actor who plays dr. devlin's main squeeze, fellow doctor brett robinson: zach gilford. now you may know zach from ABC's short lived medical drama about doctors practicing in a clinic in the south american jungle, Off The Map (also cancelled. also watched by me........i told you i was bad), but you SHOULD instead know him as Matt Saracen, one of the main characters in NBC/DirectTv's cancelled-before-its-time drama "Friday Night Lights".

now i will admit: i did not watch friday night lights at all during its original five year run. it was only after it was cancelled that i decided to give it a shot. i had heard all good things about it and found season 1 on dvd at half price books for cheap. and let me tell you.........best investment i've ever made.

most FNL haters probably have avoided the show because "it's about football". and it is. but i am here to tell you that it is about so much more than that. it's about family and friendship and love and life in a way that is so authentic and totally believable. i mean, no one gets shot in a shooting rampage or gets their leg amputated or gets hit by a bus or has hallucinations involving their dead lover or gets in a car accident and spends the next episode having an out of body experience and singing to themselves about it (*cough cough* grey's anatomy *cough*). everything is so much more subtle and simpler than that.

a lot of the actors/actresses aren't really that mind-blowingly awesome in other stuff i've seen them in. i mean, no one is dying to hand Taylor Kitsch an Oscar for his role in Battleship, but when he sat in the Panthers' film room watching the hit that paralyzed his best friend over and over again and inevitably having a mini breakdown, i totally believed it. and i cried a little bit along with him.

i guess that's what impresses me so much about FNL: the number of times i've gotten choked up or shed actual tears while watching. sadly, it's a pretty underrated show so there aren't many youtube clips available, but i was able to find three that i'm pretty obsessed with and have decided to share them with you. 

oh and surprise: they all star zach gilford.

coach taylor giving matt some tough love in season 2 after he gets drunk at a strip club and his grandma gets rushed to the emergency room while he's out shirking his responsibilities.

this is kind of spoiler-y so don't watch or keep reading if you don't want to know. this entire episode (season 4's "The Son") where matt's dad dies in Iraq had me pretty emotional the whole time. this final scene (the blood on the handle at the end!!), the one where matt breaks down at the dinner table and tells the taylor family "i hate him. i don't like hating people." and the scene where he breaks into the funeral home drunk and demands to see his father's body and his subsequent reaction were the highlights and probably the best pieces of television i've ever seen. those can be seen here, set to one of my favorite pieces of music.

anyways, there's a lot more i wish i could say about FNL, and so many more incredible moments involving all the characters, but it's hard to put the greatness into words. instead, i'll just let this video do the talking for me.

also, i wish tami taylor was my second mom.

Sisterly Conversations on: My Week with Chandler & Brit Brit

It's the most wonderful time of the year!!! No, not that most wonderful time. I'm referring to the other wonderful time of the year...the Fall return of all my favorite T.V. shows! Now, I've purged my DVR of all our old summer Olympics recordings, although it will be a bummer not to re-watch Tom Daley and his fantastic... dives (that really is what I was going to say)....You can check out our earlier Olympics posts for more on that. 

SO...the DVR is cleared and ready to let the Fall T.V. shows take over! After each week of the start of all my favorite shows, as well as some shows that I will be checking out for the first time, I will let you all know what I think. Which stars are trying to make it big again? Are some of these shows worth watching or not? (See last season's disaster show "Whitney" if you want to know about a show that was NOT worth watching. *Cough cough* annoying *cough*).


This week consisted of two of my favorite things: therapy and BRITNEY SPEARS.


NBC's Go On (Tuesdays at 9/8 PM) stars the always hilarious and sarcastic (me? a fan of sarcasm?) Matthew Perry. Now my friend, Cristina, also known as Xtina to those of you who know and love her, recently got me to sit down with her and watch at least 8ish episodes of Friends from the very beginning. In the past, I was never able to get into the show. But, I am telling you, that Chandler Bing is HILARIOUS. Ok, I know I am stating a fact that everyone has probably been aware of since the 90s, but his undeniable wit is sooo attractive and has allowed me to look past his vests and parachute pants from his Friends years. 

Needless to say, so far so good with Go On, as he seems to be carrying on the sarcasm, biting jokes, and dark humor. The show has some good substance and lessons to it: Matthew Perry plays Ryan King, a sportscaster who recently lost his wife when she died in a car accident due to texting and driving (a nicely planted PSA from the celeb: DO NOT TEXT AND DRIVE... In order to return to work, Ryan must attend 10, yes 10, sessions of grief group therapy. That is a lot  of sessions in the therapy world...unless you're a Freudian. Then 10 sessions is pretty much the Cliff's Notes version of therapy (sorry, psychology nerd coming out). Ryan thinks he's too cool for school and just wants to breeze through the sessions and not participate, get to know anyone, or let out any of his emotions surrounding his wife's death. He comes to the sessions and tries to shake things up, much to the dismay of the therapy group leader (who, by the way, isn't even a licensed professional! Ethical dilemma...Yow-za!). Anyways, there are many hilarious, yet touching moments in the first two episodes. This show portrays the main character as having a tough shell, covering up his pain with humor, but in reality he cares about getting to know and helping his fellow group members. It's funny but quite touching...I even got a little choked up at a couple parts and I. Never. Cry. Check out this short clip from one of my favorite scenes so far! Like, I said, Ryan comes in trying to shake things up and because of his contradictory approach to do something different in group therapy and judge who has the most depressing story (kind of an actual therapy technique in real life) the group members love him! 

I'm excited about "scary" Anne...because she is scary. And funny.

Now, prepare yourselves...prepare yourselves to witness an obsession. When I was in middle school, I recorded the 2000 MTV Video Music Awards, on VHS, so that I could watch Britney Spears' rocked out rendition of Oops! I Did it Again. Oh, and watch it I did - over, and over, and OVER. I have never been very well coordinated when it comes to choreography, but I was determined to learn this dance. After I figured out that I would never be able to do it because the camera cut away during key steps of the routine and it was too difficult to rewind and pause the video tape, I then became determined to get abs like Britney Spears. See below video for life inspiration:

Needless to say, 10+ years later I am still working on getting that six pack, but hey, I may actually have a better body than Britney does now (post birthing 2 children and having a psychotic break). Who cares...she is still a goddess. But this time, in the first two episodes of the X Factor, I want to be Britney's best friend not because of her body and killer dancing abilities, but because she is a badass who doesn't take nothin' from no one!  You see, V and I have this look that we give people when we are annoyed or not amused that we like to call "The Straight Face." It comes from this commonly used emoticon   :|  or another form of "The Straight Face" emoticon -_- . Of course, the nation has also adopted another popular version of "The Straight Face" from another one of my heroes, McKayla Maroney:

Really McKayla's is more of a pucker, but either way not impressed/unamused.

Throughout the X Factor, Britney gives her facial rendition of complete and utter lack of amusement and disgust through what will now be called the "Britney Face" (take note, V). Britney makes this face when she pretty much wants a contestant to get their sorry self off her stage (no, not the X Factor Stage, her stage). She even gave the "Britney Face" to a male contestant who helped her sing a duet on her very first album! Cold as ice that Britney. Britney likes to change it up a little with her signature face, so take your pick of how you would like for her to look at you if she ever heard you sing. Hey, at least she would be acknowledging your presence on this Earth. What more could a person want!?

Britney: Not Impressed.

Britney: Not Impressed mixed with confused (see, I told you she likes to change it up!)

I will always and forever be a fan of Brit, even when she makes some of the biggest screw-ups of all time. And what is even better, I am becoming more and more of a Demi Lovato fan. Now, as if you haven't already judged me enough for obsessing over Britney Spears, you can continue to judge me harder for loving little Demi. She, like Britney, has also made some mistakes in her short, Disney-star turned wild-child life. Perhaps it's the therapist in me having a heart for the likes of Britney and Demi. Demi's got it all, eating disorder, rehab and hospital stay, plus she was bullied a lot when she was young(er). What I saw on the X Factor  was that Britney and Demi have emotions. Britney seemed genuinely upset after her former duet partner shared about his struggle in coming out, and Demi broke into tears and later hugged a contestant when she talked about being bullied herself and sang quite an emotional version of "Who You Are."...Man, I would LOVE to do a group session with Britz and Demz (maybe I could write them and we could create our own version of Go On...I'll keep you posted.)

Stay tuned for reviews of next week's shows: NBC's  Revolution (Mon. 10/9pm) & Up All Night (Thurs.8:30/7:30pm) ! 

Sisterly Conversations on: The Secret Language

Hello out there! I know it's been a while since I've blogged. I've been out living life (aka: going to school and work) and have also been stuck in a mild depression after that last blog entry. Jeez, Alanna, way to be inspiring and also really, really depressing at the same time. I'd have to agree with most of the sentiments of that last entry. I don't want this to turn into a deep and depressing rumination on life, so we'll just leave it at that. I will admit that I, too, do some of my pondering of life's darkest mysteries in the car. Or the shower. In those moments as I'm silently cursing my creepy neighbor because he used up all of the hot water, and I'm left with a pissy little stream trickling out of the shower head, I think about what I would say to people if I had the chance to relive certain situations. I think about what my life would be like if I did some things differently. But mostly I ponder what my life would be like if it was a movie. Shut up, you do it too. I've decided that my final scene would end with me totally content with life, driving off into the sunset on a nice, breezy fall day. This is the that song would play me out as I drive off and the credits roll. 

Clearly, I've done a lot of shower time.

Anyways, moving on to the subject of this blog entry. I was listening to Pandora a little while ago and I thought "Hey! It's a Thursday. I like to be a little crazy. I'm going to make a Miley Cyrus Pandora station." Come on. Don't judge. You know you like the anticipation and anxiety that comes along with hoping the song that comes on next is Party in the USA. And there's a good chance that it will be. Because MyCy Pandora plays. a. lot. of. Miley. Cyrus.

I mean who knew she had that much music?! Not me. Otherwise I would've never made the damn thing. Anyways, at one point, one of the songs that came on was "Should've Said No" by Taylor Swift. 

Now, this song holds a special place in mine and Alanna's heart. We often like to make up words to songs or sing them in strange voices (her rendition of "Boyfriend" by the Biebs in a country accent is particularly fetching). On one such occasion, Alanna came up with some alternative lyrics to "Should've Said No." In this particular version, Taylor's man-friend said yes (which....isn't that the point of the song? He DID say yes......). Anyways, her alternative version was "should've said yes, then....." and because nothing rhymes with "yes" the word "sexed" seemed apropos. So, I was going to write on her wall "should've said yes, then.......sexed" but then I realized that without some background story, people were going to read it and think we were freaks.

Which is when I realized: WE ARE. We have this weird little language that I'm pretty sure I'll regret decoding for you, but which I am going to do anyways, below:

"i'm scared (seth cohen voice)": used to tell the other person that you are, in fact, frightened. the (seth cohen voice) denotation could be added if you were texting the other person. otherwise, it's just said in the seth cohen voice. example: 

me: the lights just went out at my apartment complex. i'm scared.  

source material: only the greatest show ever. i'm actually really devastated because i can't find the video on the youtube uploader to embed it, but just click on the link below and fast forward to 1:05. or watch all 4 seasons of The OC and maybe it will pop up somewhere. i won't tell you which episode. either way, you won't be sorry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIALKOiJuDs

"(insert verb here) on the Barry Gibb Talk Show": this one is relatively new to the language. it's basically an alternative way to say you're doing whatever the verb is. example:

1. alanna: i'm at a bar and i'm flirting it up on the Barry Gibb Talk Show with Johnny Johnson.

2. me: i'm going out to party it up on the Barry Gibb Talk Show with my work friends!

source material: i mean really? you don't know this already? shameful. well here it is if you've been living under a rock, or have bad taste in humor and have never seen it before.

"hiliary clinton/hilz clinton/hiliary": used in place of the word "funny". example:

1. me: you should read my newest entry in the Sister Blog!

alanna: it's hiliary?

2. alanna: The Hangover was Hilz Clinton!

source material: alanna and i went to what can only be described as a pep rally in Robstown when Hillary Clinton was running for president and some lady, in true Corpus fashion, had a sign that said something about Texans for "Hiliary". Yes, Hiliary. needless to say, it sounds like "hilarious". because it is. 

oh here's a photo of me and my friend Jordan from that day for good measure.

"rude boy/calling you rude boy/rutabaga/rudyard kipling": all various euphemisms for the word "rude". example:

1. me: i finished watching The Bodyguard without you.

alanna: rude boy!!

2. alanna: i'm going to Harry Potter world.

me: rutabaga bush!

source material: i don't know. anything that has the word rude in it? any word that looks like it could have the word rude in it?

"like such as the Iraq": perhaps the most difficult to define, much like the video from whence it came. usually used to cut someone off before they can start listing things. example:

alanna: when are you coming to visit me?

me: i don't know. i have a lot to do this weekend, like....

alanna: like such as the Iraq?

source material: it needs no explanation.

anyways, there are many more complexities to the sister language that I don't feel like explaining. it's probably for the best. i mean i doubt we have any friends left after they read this. hey, but we have each other right?! and you....if you think you can master the language.

Sisterly Conversations on: The Mushy Gushy Stuff

So, in the last few (ok all) posts in the Sister Blog, things have been humorous, sarcastic, and fun! Just like the Sisters you know and love. But in my time spent traveling the long, lonely roads to visit family and friends this summer, or even just to grab some groceries at the HEB (a.k.a. H-O-E, hell on earth), I have done some really deep thinking. I usually tell my Lil Sis, V, everything, from boy drama, to work drama, to our occasional analysis of Lifetime movies. But sometimes, when I am alone in my car, listening to my Ipod, I think of some pretty serious stuff. So I thought it would be a good idea to share some of these thoughts with my sis (and anyone else who cares to read them). However, the only way you can continue to read on and hopefully get a sense of what I am feeling when I am deep in thought is to play the below song, one that inspires my best thinking, from M83. First of all, this band (one guy or more, I'm not sure) is A-MAZING. Second of all, this song was on the MTV Britney Spears documentary, therefore it can make anything anybody says or thinks seem profound and existential. Please, press play, and read on:

I think about how far I have come since leaving my hometown and going to grad school. I think of the people I have met and the people I have separated from, but who still support me, and the people I have left for good. It weirds me out to think how I have had some type of relationship with everyone I have encountered in my life. In one time span, they may have been the most important thing to me, and now I don't even know what kinds of things they like to talk about or do anymore.

I think about the places I have been and the things I have done in the past few years. When I am able to get out of my daily routine of work and school, I can't even believe that life exists outside of these things! Today when I was driving home from dinner, I saw what I assume to be a Somali woman (due to the neighborhood) walking down the median of a busy intersection carrying her groceries in a bag...balancing on top of her head!!! I mean, come on! You never see that...unless you are watching the Discovery Channel or some M.I.A. or Michael Jackson political music video. It just made me think about how much bigger this world is than what we each have going on in our own little sector of the city. I feel like wherever I go, the things I do and the people I am with can make it the most important place for me to be. Then I think about how everyone probably feels this way. So doesn't it make sense that everything going on in the world is important and meaningful?

I think about the future of course. Look how far I have come in just a few years, I tell myself. I have met people I can't picture living life without, I have explored new things and developed new interests that seem to make my life so much more enriched than it ever has been. I wonder what more will change in 4 or 5 years from now, when I am done with school. What will my boyfriend/husband/children look like? I'm praying to have at least one of those. If not, I hope I am having a lot of fun, with a lot of close friends (preferably not friends in the convent) ! 

I think about God. A LOT. My relationship with Him is so strange...like a roller coaster really. But not a crazy one that makes you feel sick at the end. More of a calm roller coaster that goes at a pretty good speed, but has a few twists and turns in there to keep life interesting. But I think I like this type of relationship with God the most. Of course, I usually wish it were easier and that I had all the right answers, knew what was going to happen next, and could make others see God and change their lives. But that never feels right to me.  What feels right is being real with people. Just knowing them, doing what they like to do, and appreciating them for who they are. So, if you've been by my side throughout my spiritual ups and downs, thank you. I also apologize to you if I ever made you feel bad about not being closer to God. You know God in your own way and a relationship and experiences with Him are more real than what any person could ever tell you to do.

What I think about most these days, when no one is with me and my brain has time to slow down and be quiet, is of a wonderful friend I had. Her name is Lucy. If you know me, you already know how big of an impact this woman has had on my life, and how much I still think of her today and model many aspects of my life around things she taught me. I have written a lot about Lucy: memories, tributes, advice she used to give me. Also, if you know me, you are probably used to me writing so much about her and you probably think you already know what I will say! But I am probably going to say something you have yet to hear from me: death sucks. It is the most unfair, confusing, and harsh experience those of us who are still living will ever go through. I can't figure out why, I can't have that person back. Despite all the memories I have, I can't relive them. Each time I try to remember Lucy's voice or laugh, it gets a little harder, and it scares me. I can think of all the things I would have, should have done or said, but none of it seems right. The one good thing about death is that it gives you hope and passion for life. Since Lucy's death, I have done more and more everyday to push myself. Not only have I pushed myself more physically and intellectually like Lucy used to influence me to do, but I push myself spiritually the most. I have never felt so close to God as I did right after losing Lucy. I literally felt like I was in His arms and they were both comforting me and doing amazing things in my life for months after she was gone. That is a feeling that cannot be topped by much.

Relationships, God, death; all the main points of this post, and all the most profound experiences we have as humans. I think that Lucy, and probably anyone else who has every passed away, was probably terrified at first. But I believe there comes a beautiful moment, one that I know my friend experienced, where all three of those things come together and life on earth and life in Heaven connect and make sense. 

This post isn't meant to motivate anyone to do anything, to give advice, to make people happy, sad, mad, etc. It's just meant to make you think like I think (and to take off some of the burden from my sis to not have to be the only one hearing stuff like this!) And to allow you to take a step back and evaluate what makes life beautiful and worth it to you.

Love,

Alanna